So it has definitely been a while since I have posted. A lot has happened and many things have changed. To start, I have officially been single now for 8 months. That's right. After 3 1/2 years I had to end a relationship that I had become too comfortable being in. It is scary to think that one can spend that much time with another and share your home and bed with them, only to realize that you don't even know them at all. Things are never what they seem. I know that there were red flags every time I turned around, but then again I just wrote them all off as little quirks. I cannot believe that I was so stupid as to let someone in my life like that; to let them fool me and make me feel stupid and taken advantage of. This is where great friends come in. If it was not for them, my blinders would have remained on. I truly appreciate them more than they ever know. They helped me and supported me to make a very big decision in my life. Trust me, some days it still sucks, but I am very much so better off and a happier person.
I have learned to re-connect with friends that have seemed to fall by the wayside. I have had a great go of it and have met some new friends along the way. Unfortunately, I have even lost a friend or two along the way. I have had some of the craziest and longest nights that I have had in a long time. Got to love livin' the single life.
Through all this, I have also learned a lot about myself. I am not going to let people continue to walk all over me. If I don't like a situation, I leave it; If I don't like a person, I walk away. So, in my new fashion, I left my job and got a new one. It was definitely time to move on. It was getting to the point that I did not even want to get out of bed in the morning. This was not the traditional case of I don't want to go to work blues. I did not feel productive, useful, or appreciated. So, I moved on. I found a new company and took the job. I am loving the fact that I no longer have to drive down town every day. I no longer have to dish out money to park, am saving miles on my leased car, and don't have to fill up as often. I can even go home on lunch when I need to - how nice is that.
As much as things have changed, I still feel like I need a big change in my life. I want a bold statement. I want to be successful. I want to move. I just want to be happy. This means that it is time for me to be a better person. One that is more cautious of others motives, one that is more confident in themself, one that makes things happen and puts my best interest at heart. Sometimes I wish I could just pack up my house and dogs and move to the west coast. At least that way there would warmer weather, right? But, I have realized that is not the way things go. This means that I need to become a new person, the person that I want to be. I am ready to move on; To meet someone new and to take it slow; to be comfortable with myself and the image I have of myself; To be happy again. Game on life - I will win.
